Table of Contents
Honor as a Lifelong Obligation
Islam treats the rights of parents as a sacred, lifelong duty that continues from a person’s birth until the death of the parents and even after that. Right after the command to worship Allah alone, the Qur’an repeatedly mentions kindness to parents, which shows the central place this duty has in a Muslim’s life.
Allah says, placing this duty immediately after tawḥīd:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show excellent treatment to parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them even ‘uff’ and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.’”
(Qur’an 17:23‑24)
The Prophet ﷺ described pleasing parents as a direct path to Allah’s pleasure:
“The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of the parents.”
(Tirmidhī)
The fundamental rule: After worship of Allah, showing kindness, respect, and good companionship to one’s parents is among the greatest obligations in Islam, and displeasing them without a valid shar‘i reason is a grave sin.
This chapter focuses on the specific rights that parents have over their children, in belief, speech, behavior, and financial and practical support.
Respect and Obedience
The basic right of parents is respect in the heart and obedience in what is permissible. Respect is an inner attitude that appears in the way a son or daughter speaks, behaves, and even thinks about his or her parents.
Allah forbids even the smallest sign of irritation:
“If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them even ‘uff’ and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word.”
(Qur’an 17:23)
The Prophet ﷺ explained that obedience to parents is part of obedience to Allah:
“Shall I not tell you of the greatest of the major sins?” We said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents…”
(Bukhārī, Muslim)
Obedience to parents, however, is not absolute. If they ask the child to disobey Allah, obedience to the Creator takes priority, while still keeping kindness in behavior:
“But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness…”
(Qur’an 31:15)
Rule: Obedience to parents is obligatory in what is good and permissible, but there is no obedience to any created being in disobedience to the Creator, and even then, kind treatment must continue.
To respect parents means speaking gently, avoiding raising the voice over theirs, not interrupting except when necessary, and avoiding arguments and harsh replies. A Muslim must also avoid insulting them, even indirectly. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Among the major sins is that a man curses his parents.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, how does a man curse his parents?” He said, “He abuses another man’s father, so that man abuses his father; and he abuses his mother, so that man abuses his mother.”
(Bukhārī)
Gratitude and Recognizing Their Sacrifice
One major right of parents is that their child recognizes their sacrifice and feels sincere gratitude. The Qur’an often mentions the hardship of the mother in particular:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him in hardship and gave birth to him in hardship…”
(Qur’an 46:15)
In another verse Allah connects gratitude to Himself with gratitude to parents:
“Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destination.”
(Qur’an 31:14)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“You will never repay your father, unless you find him as a slave and you buy him and set him free.”
(Muslim)
Showing gratitude is not just a feeling. It must appear in thanks, kind words, mentioning their efforts, and avoiding reminding them of favors you do for them. A child should see every service to his parents as still less than what they have already given.
Good Companionship and Gentle Speech
Beyond obedience, parents have the right to be treated with warmth, closeness, and companionship. This includes visiting them, sitting with them, listening to their concerns, and sharing time, especially as they grow older.
The Qur’an commands noble and gentle speech:
“…but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy…”
(Qur’an 17:23‑24)
The Prophet ﷺ considered accompanying the mother in particular as a path to Paradise. A man came and asked:
“O Messenger of Allah, who is most deserving of my good companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.”
(Bukhārī, Muslim)
Good companionship means making an effort to visit or call them regularly, asking about their health, showing interest in their lives, and allowing them to feel honored and noticed.
Important principle: Parents are not to be treated merely as obligations, but as honored companions, especially in old age, when their need for emotional closeness often increases.
Even if a parent is difficult, unjust, or non‑Muslim, the default of soft speech and good companionship remains, as long as they are not commanding sin.
Financial Support and Service
If parents are in need, financial support from their children is a right, not just a favor. If a son or daughter is able to provide and the parents need help, it is an obligation to support them within one’s means.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“You and your wealth belong to your father.”
(Ibn Mājah)
This hadith shows the priority of the father’s right over the wealth of the child, although it does not permit injustice or taking what would harm the child. Jurists understood from this and other texts that supporting needy parents is a duty if the child is capable.
Financial support includes food, clothing, shelter, medical treatment, and any necessities, according to the child’s capacity.
Alongside money, parents have the right to practical service. This includes helping them walk, assisting with daily tasks, driving them to appointments, and generally being available. The Prophet ﷺ said about serving the mother:
A man came and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out for jihād and I have come to consult you.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.”
(Nasā’ī)
Service is especially critical when parents are sick or weak. In such times, a child should strive to be patient and see this service as an opportunity for huge reward and forgiveness.
Priority Over Voluntary Acts
The rights of parents are so great that sometimes they take priority over voluntary acts of worship that are not obligatory. The Prophet ﷺ turned some people back from noble acts when they were neglecting parents.
A man asked permission to join fighting in the path of Allah. The Prophet ﷺ asked about his parents:
He said, “Are your parents alive?” The man said, “Yes.” He said, “Then strive in their service.”
(Bukhārī)
In another narration he ﷺ said:
“Sticking to her feet (serving your mother), there is Paradise.”
(Ibn Mājah)
This shows that spending time and effort in serving parents can be better than certain voluntary acts, when their rights would otherwise be neglected.
Rule: If a voluntary deed causes neglect of parents’ rights or deep hurt to them without a shar‘i need, then serving parents takes priority over that voluntary act.
Of course, obligatory prayers and other clear obligations are never abandoned. The balance is to fulfill all compulsory worship while not using voluntary acts as an excuse to run away from family duties.
Kindness to Non‑Muslim or Unjust Parents
Parents have rights even if they are not Muslim or if they are unjust in some matters. Tawḥīd remains primary, but kindness in worldly matters continues.
Allah said about parents who strive to make their child commit shirk:
“But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness…”
(Qur’an 31:15)
Asmā’ bint Abī Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
“My mother came to me while she was a polytheist at the time of the Prophet ﷺ, and I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, ‘My mother has come to me seeking help, shall I uphold ties with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold ties with your mother.’”
(Bukhārī)
So a child must still visit, help, and be kind to non‑Muslim parents in worldly affairs, while not obeying them in anything that contradicts Islam.
Even if parents are harsh, unfair, or emotionally difficult, the child is not allowed to respond with disrespect. Patience, forbearance, and wise conversation are required, while seeking lawful means to protect oneself from harm when needed.
Du‘ā’ for Parents and Their Rights After Death
The rights of parents do not end with their death. Islam teaches that a child continues to honor parents after they have passed away, especially through supplication, fulfilling their pledges, and maintaining ties with those they loved.
Allah teaches the believer to make du‘ā’ for them:
“…and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.’”
(Qur’an 17:24)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“When a human being dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
(Muslim)
He ﷺ also said when asked about honoring parents after they die:
“Yes, by praying for them, asking forgiveness for them, fulfilling their promises after them, honoring their friends, and maintaining the ties of kinship that are only known through them.”
(Abū Dāwūd)
So among their rights after death are making regular du‘ā’ for them, giving charity on their behalf if one can, performing ḥajj or ‘umrah on their behalf when conditions are met, paying off their debts if they left any and one is able, and visiting their graves to remember the Hereafter and to make du‘ā’.
Key statement: A righteous child’s du‘ā’ and good deeds on behalf of his or her parents are a continuous honor for them after death and a sign of true filial loyalty.
Avoiding Disobedience and Harm
If honoring parents is among the greatest deeds, then harming them is among the gravest sins. Disobedience to parents is ranked alongside shirk in severity.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Shall I not inform you of the greatest of the major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.”
(Bukhārī, Muslim)
Disobedience includes raising one’s voice at them, insulting or cursing them, refusing their reasonable requests, making them cry out of hurt, neglecting them in old age, and abandoning them when they need care.
At the same time, Islam does not require enduring physical harm or clear oppression without any protection. A child may take necessary, wise steps to maintain safety, but must still keep language and attitude as kind and respectful as possible.
Repentance from past disobedience requires sincere tawbah to Allah, seeking forgiveness from the parents if doing so will not lead to greater harm, and increasing in good treatment toward them as long as they are alive.
Balancing the Rights of Parents with Other Duties
Parents have immense rights, but Islam is a balanced religion. A Muslim must also fulfill the rights of a spouse, children, community, and personal religious obligations. The Prophet ﷺ placed everything in its proper place.
He ﷺ said:
“Indeed your Lord has a right over you, your self has a right over you, and your family has a right over you. So give each one who has a right, his right.”
(Bukhārī)
This includes giving parents their right of respect, time, service, and financial support while not neglecting what Allah has commanded in other areas. If a conflict arises, scholars look carefully at which right is more strongly established in the Sharī‘ah in that particular situation.
When a person marries, he or she does not cut ties with parents. Instead, the believer learns to manage time and energy so that both parents and spouse feel honored and not abandoned. Wisdom, gentle explanation, and fairness are needed, but the basic rights of parents remain in place until their death.
Conclusion: A Path to Paradise
The rights of parents in Islam are not simply cultural customs. They are acts of worship and one of the fastest roads to the pleasure of Allah and to Paradise.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“May he be humiliated, may he be humiliated, may he be humiliated, the man whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime, and he does not enter Paradise (by serving them).”
(Muslim)
Serving parents, speaking kindly to them, supporting them financially and emotionally, making du‘ā’ for them in life and after death, and avoiding all forms of disrespect are all part of their rights. For the believer, every visit, every patient response, and every small act of care toward parents is a chance for elevation in the sight of Allah and a repayment, in a very small way, of the mercy with which they raised him or her.