Table of Contents
Love for Children as a Mark of Prophethood
A central feature of the life of the Prophet ﷺ was his deep love, gentleness, and mercy toward children. This was not a secondary part of his character, but a clear sign of his prophethood and the mercy that Allah sent him with.
Allah says about him:
﴿وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ﴾
“And We have not sent you, except as a mercy to the worlds.”
(Quran 21:107)
Children are among “the worlds” and the Prophet ﷺ embodied this mercy most beautifully in how he dealt with them. His treatment of children broke many harsh customs of his time and set a permanent example for every Muslim family.
Key principle: The Prophet ﷺ treated children with mercy, dignity, and respect, considering them full human beings whose hearts must be nurtured, not broken.
Affection, Kissing, and Physical Warmth
In pre-Islamic Arabia, many men considered open affection toward children a sign of weakness. The Prophet ﷺ changed this view completely by his own practice.
It is authentically reported that he ﷺ kissed his beloved grandson Al‑Hasan ibn Ali رضي الله عنهما while Al‑Aqra‘ ibn Hābis watched. Al‑Aqra‘ said that he had ten children and had never kissed any of them. The Prophet ﷺ responded:
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ … أَنَّ الْأَقْرَعَ بْنَ حَابِسٍ رَأَى النَّبِيَّ ﷺ يُقَبِّلُ الْحَسَنَ بْنَ عَلِيٍّ، فَقَالَ: إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ مِنْهُمْ أَحَدًا. فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ:
«مَنْ لا يَرْحَمْ لا يُرْحَمْ»
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that Al‑Aqra‘ ibn Hābis saw the Prophet ﷺ kissing Al‑Hasan ibn Ali, so he said, “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
In another narration, when a man found it strange that the Prophet ﷺ kissed children, he answered:
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا … أَنَّ أَعْرَابِيًّا جَاءَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَقَالَ: تُقَبِّلُونَ الصِّبْيَانَ؟ فَمَا نُقَبِّلُهُمْ. فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ:
«أَوَأَمْلِكُ لَكَ أَنْ نَزَعَ اللهُ مِنْ قَلْبِكَ الرَّحْمَةَ؟»
A Bedouin came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, “You people kiss children, yet we do not kiss them.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Can I do anything for you if Allah has removed mercy from your heart?”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
From these narrations, we learn that the Prophet ﷺ saw kissing and physical affection as a necessary expression of mercy, not something optional or unimportant.
Important statement: Withholding affection from children is not strength. It is a sign that mercy is missing from the heart.
He ﷺ would hug children, take them in his arms, and even carry them during worship, as will be seen later. His home and community were places where children felt physically safe and emotionally loved.
Respecting Children and Recognizing Their Worth
The Prophet ﷺ did not treat children as insignificant. He gave them attention and made them feel valuable.
One clear example is how he spoke with the young Companion Ibn ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما. When Ibn ‘Abbās was still a boy, the Prophet ﷺ placed him behind on his riding animal and advised him with great, deep words that Muslims continue to teach until today:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: كُنْتُ خَلْفَ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ يَوْمًا، فَقَالَ:
«يَا غُلَامُ، إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ: احْفَظِ اللهَ يَحْفَظْكَ، احْفَظِ اللهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ، إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللهِ…»
Ibn ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما said: I was behind the Prophet ﷺ one day and he said, “O young boy, I will teach you some words: Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him with you. When you ask, ask Allah, and when you seek help, seek help from Allah…”
(Al‑Tirmidhi)
He addressed him with respect, calling him “O young boy” with tenderness, and entrusted him with profound teachings. This shows that children were seen as capable of understanding important truths, not only as people to be ordered around.
He ﷺ also respected children within gatherings. When he wanted to give a drink to the elders, but a boy was sitting to his right, he did not simply pass over the child. It is narrated:
عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ: أُتِيَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ بِشَرَابٍ فَشَرِبَ مِنْهُ، وَعَنْ يَمِينِهِ غُلَامٌ، وَعَنْ يَسَارِهِ الْأَشْيَاخُ، فَقَالَ لِلْغُلَامِ:
«أَتَأْذَنُ لِي أَنْ أُعْطِيَ هَؤُلَاءِ؟»
فَقَالَ الْغُلَامُ: لَا، وَاللهِ، لَا أُوثِرُ بِنَصِيبِي مِنْكَ أَحَدًا. فَتَلَّهُ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ فِي يَدِهِ.
Sahl ibn Sa‘d رضي الله عنه narrated: The Prophet ﷺ was brought a drink and drank from it. On his right was a boy and on his left were elders. He said to the boy, “Do you permit me to give it to these (elders)?” The boy replied, “No, by Allah, I would not give up my share from you to anyone.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ placed it in his hand.
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
By asking the boy’s permission, the Prophet ﷺ recognized the child’s right and showed that his status in the law is not to be ignored simply because of his age.
Important statement: The Prophet ﷺ showed that children have rights and dignity, and their rightful place should not be taken away in the name of “respect” for adults.
Kindness in Speech, Play, and Jokes
The Prophet ﷺ spoke to children in a way that combined kindness, simplicity, and sometimes gentle humor. He remembered their names and their small personal stories.
One famous example is the story of the little boy Abu ‘Umayr. He had a small bird that died. The Prophet ﷺ did not dismiss his sadness as childish. Instead, he visited him and lightened his sorrow with a gentle joke:
عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: كَانَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا، وَكَانَ لِي أَخٌ يُقَالُ لَهُ أَبُو عُمَيْرٍ، فَكَانَ إِذَا جَاءَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ فَرَآهُ قَالَ:
«يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ، مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ؟»
Anas رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was the best of people in character. I had a brother called Abu ‘Umayr. Whenever the Messenger of Allah ﷺ came and saw him, he would say, “O Abu ‘Umayr, what did the little bird do?”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
This simple question, repeated affectionately, became a famous model of how to speak to children, how to recognize their feelings, and how to use gentle humor appropriately.
Anas رضي الله عنه, who served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years from a young age, described his experience as a child in the Prophet’s household:
عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: خَدَمْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ عَشْرَ سِنِينَ، فَمَا قَالَ لِي قَطُّ: أُفٍّ، وَلَا لِمَ صَنَعْتَ، وَلَا أَلَّا صَنَعْتَ.
Anas رضي الله عنه said: I served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years. He never once said to me “Uff,” nor did he say for something I had done, “Why did you do that?” nor for something I had left, “Why did you not do that?”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
From this, we see that his speech with children was free of constant blame, harshness, and belittling remarks. Even when children made mistakes, he chose a gentle and patient way of correcting them, as will be discussed later.
Involving Children in Worship and Allowing for Their Needs
The Prophet ﷺ created an environment in which children were present around worship and the masjid. He did not separate them completely from acts of devotion, but he also took their needs into account.
He ﷺ sometimes prayed while carrying his young granddaughter Umāmah bint Zaynab رضي الله عنها. It is narrated:
عَنْ أَبِي قَتَادَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ كَانَ يُصَلِّي وَهُوَ حَامِلٌ أُمَامَةَ بِنْتَ زَيْنَبَ بِنْتِ رَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ، فَإِذَا سَجَدَ وَضَعَهَا، وَإِذَا قَامَ حَمَلَهَا.
Abu Qatādah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to pray while carrying Umāmah, the daughter of Zaynab, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When he prostrated he put her down, and when he stood up he carried her.
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
Instead of seeing a child as an interruption to his prayer, he held her tenderly and prayed. This showed the community that caring for a child is compatible with worship, not separate from it.
He also shortened his recitation at times out of concern for children and their mothers. The Prophet ﷺ said:
عَنْ أَبِي قَتَادَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ:
«إِنِّي لَأَقُومُ فِي الصَّلَاةِ أُرِيدُ أَنْ أُطَوِّلَ فِيهَا، فَأَسْمَعُ بُكَاءَ الصَّبِيِّ، فَأَتَجَوَّزُ فِي صَلَاتِي، كَرَاهِيَةَ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَى أُمِّهِ»
Abu Qatādah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “I stand in prayer intending to make it long, then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten my prayer, because I dislike causing hardship to his mother.”
(Al‑Bukhari)
Here, the Prophet ﷺ balanced devotion with compassion. He taught that true worship should not ignore the cries of a child or the heart of a mother.
Important statement: In the Prophet’s practice, caring for children was a part of worship, not a barrier to it.
Children also attended gatherings of knowledge and were not excluded. This allowed them to observe manners of worship, learn from an early age, and feel part of the believing community.
Teaching Children with Wisdom and Gentleness
The Prophet ﷺ did not only show affection to children. He also educated them and corrected their behavior, but he did so with wisdom, gentleness, and patience.
A clear example is how he taught a young boy about basic manners at the dining table. Ibn ‘Umar or another young Companion narrated:
عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: كُنْتُ غُلَامًا فِي حِجْرِ رَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ، وَكَانَتْ يَدِي تَطِيشُ فِي الصَّحْفَةِ، فَقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ:
«يَا غُلَامُ، سَمِّ اللهَ، وَكُلْ بِيَمِينِكَ، وَكُلْ مِمَّا يَلِيكَ»
‘Umar ibn Abī Salamah رضي الله عنه said: I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and my hand used to wander around the dish. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me, “O young boy, mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
Notice that the Prophet ﷺ did not shout at him, nor did he insult him. He combined calling him kindly “O young boy” with three simple, clear instructions. This became a foundational hadith in Islamic etiquette.
He also advised adults not to lie to children or make false promises to them. This showed his care for the moral and spiritual growth of children. Ibn ‘Āmir رضي الله عنه narrated that his mother called him saying, “Come, and I will give you something,” while the Prophet ﷺ was in the house. The Prophet ﷺ asked her:
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: دَعَتْنِي أُمِّي يَوْمًا وَرَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ قَاعِدٌ فِي بَيْتِنَا، فَقَالَتْ: هَا تَعَالَ أُعْطِكَ. فَقَالَ لَهَا رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ:
«وَمَا أَرَدْتِ أَنْ تُعْطِيهِ؟»
قَالَتْ: أُعْطِيهِ تَمْرًا.
قَالَ: «أَمَا إِنَّكِ لَوْ لَمْ تُعْطِيهِ شَيْئًا كُتِبَتْ عَلَيْكِ كِذْبَةٌ»
‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Āmir رضي الله عنه said: My mother called me one day while the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was sitting in our house. She said, “Come here and I will give you something.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to her, “What did you intend to give him?” She said, “I intended to give him a date.” He said, “If you had not given him anything, it would have been recorded against you as a lie.”
(Abu Dāwūd)
Through this, he protected the trust of children and taught parents that their words to children matter in the sight of Allah.
Important statement: The Prophet ﷺ taught that lying to children, even in small matters, is a sin that harms both the parent’s soul and the child’s trust.
Patience with Children’s Mistakes
Children naturally make mistakes. The Prophet ﷺ understood this and showed patience when children did wrong out of ignorance or childishness.
An important example is when a young boy was eating and his hand was all over the dish, as seen before. Instead of hitting his hand or publicly shaming him, the Prophet ﷺ gave him direct and loving instruction.
Another example concerns misbehavior in the masjid. The narrations mention that some children would play or make noise, yet the Prophet ﷺ did not drive them away harshly. His general attitude was to guide gently rather than to break hearts.
The description of Anas رضي الله عنه about ten years of service, already quoted, is powerful. As a child in the Prophet’s house he sometimes delayed tasks or forgot. He said in another wording:
عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: وَاللَّهِ مَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ صَنَعْتُهُ: لِمَ صَنَعْتَ هَذَا؟ وَلَا لِشَيْءٍ تَرَكْتُهُ: أَلَا صَنَعْتَ هَذَا؟
Anas رضي الله عنه said: By Allah, he never said to me about something I did, “Why did you do this?” nor about something I left, “Why did you not do this?”
(Muslim, meaning also in Al‑Bukhari)
This does not mean that the Prophet ﷺ left children without guidance. Rather, it shows that he chose his moments, his words, and his tone with such care that a child could serve him for a decade without feeling crushed or humiliated.
Important statement: The Prophet ﷺ corrected children, but without shouting, insults, or humiliation.
Fairness, Justice, and Avoiding Favoritism
The Prophet ﷺ was very careful that children felt treated fairly. He warned parents strongly against unjust favoritism, especially in gifts.
It is narrated that a Companion, Al‑Nu‘mān ibn Bashīr رضي الله عنهما, had a father who gave him a special gift and wanted the Prophet ﷺ to witness it. The Prophet ﷺ asked if he had given all his children a similar gift:
عَنِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: تَصَدَّقَ عَلَيَّ أَبِي بِبَعْضِ مَالِهِ، فَقَالَتْ أُمِّي عَمْرَةُ بِنْتُ رَوَاحَةَ: لَا أَرْضَى حَتَّى تُشْهِدَ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ. فَأَتَى أَبِي رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ لِيُشْهِدَهُ عَلَى صَدَقَتِي، فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ:
«أَكُلَّ وَلَدِكَ نَحَلْتَ مِثْلَ هَذَا؟»
قَالَ: لَا.
قَالَ: «فَاتَّقُوا اللهَ وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلَادِكُمْ»
وَفِي لَفْظٍ: «فَلَا تُشْهِدْنِي عَلَى جَوْرٍ»
Al‑Nu‘mān ibn Bashīr رضي الله عنهما said: My father gave me a gift from his wealth. My mother, ‘Amrah bint Rawāhah, said, “I am not pleased until you make the Messenger of Allah ﷺ witness it.” So my father went to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ to ask him to witness my gift. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Have you given all your children a similar gift?” He said, “No.” He said, “Fear Allah and be just between your children.” In another wording he said, “Do not make me a witness over injustice.”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
By describing favoritism as “injustice,” the Prophet ﷺ showed its seriousness. He wanted children to grow up with a sense that their parents were fair, so that jealousy and hatred would not grow among them.
Important statement: The Prophet ﷺ considered unfair favoritism in gifts to children a form of injustice that must be avoided.
This fairness extends to emotional treatment as well. While natural affection may differ, parents are to avoid obvious discrimination that wounds a child’s heart.
Protection from Harm and Spiritual Care
The treatment of children in the life of the Prophet ﷺ was not only emotional, but also protective and spiritual. He taught families to guard children from physical and spiritual harm.
He ﷺ encouraged parents to make du‘a for their children and to seek Allah’s protection over them. It is narrated that he used to seek refuge for his grandsons Al‑Hasan and Al‑Husayn رضي الله عنهما with the following words:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: كَانَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ يُعَوِّذُ الْحَسَنَ وَالْحُسَيْنَ، يَقُولُ:
«أُعِيذُكُمَا بِكَلِمَاتِ اللهِ التَّامَّةِ، مِنْ كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ وَهَامَّةٍ، وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لَامَّةٍ»
Ibn ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما said: The Prophet ﷺ used to seek refuge for Al‑Hasan and Al‑Husayn and say, “I seek protection for both of you in the perfect words of Allah, from every devil and poisonous creature and from every harmful eye.”
(Al‑Bukhari)
This is a model of how he cared for their unseen protection and spiritual safety.
He also directed parents to teach children salah at an early age, building a foundation of faith and discipline, while this belongs more generally to educational matters discussed elsewhere. What is clear here is that he saw children as souls to be raised for Allah, not only bodies to be fed and clothed.
Compassion in Discipline and Limits
While the Prophet ﷺ emphasized mercy, he did not erase all boundaries. Children needed discipline, but his model of discipline was connected to compassion, wisdom, and the long-term fear of Allah.
He ﷺ warned against mental or physical harm and any cruelty that breaks the spirit. His silence and gentle advice were often enough to correct a child. Harsh beating was not his way and contradicts his general instructions about not striking the face, not exceeding limits, and the importance of mercy.
He taught that those who do not show mercy to the young are not of his true followers in spirit. He ﷺ said:
عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ:
«لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا، وَيُوَقِّرْ كَبِيرَنَا»
Anas رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.”
(Al‑Tirmidhi)
Important statement: Any discipline that destroys mercy, or humiliates and harms the child, contradicts the Prophetic way.
Discipline in his Sunnah is always linked with teaching, calmness, and the aim of guiding the heart, not simply venting anger.
Emotional Presence and Sharing Their Joys and Sorrows
The Prophet ﷺ was emotionally present for the children in his family and community. He entered their world, shared their happiness and sadness, and allowed them to climb on him and be near him.
During his sermons, his grandsons sometimes came walking and stumbling, and he interrupted his khutbah to carry them:
عَنِ الْحَسَنِ أَوِ الْحُسَيْنِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ خَرَجَ وَهُوَ يَعْتَمِدُ عَلَى الْحَسَنِ أَوِ الْحُسَيْنِ، فَعَثَرَ الْغُلَامُ، فَنَزَلَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مِنَ الْمِنْبَرِ فَحَمَلَهُ، ثُمَّ صَعِدَ بِهِ الْمِنْبَرَ، فَقَالَ:
«صَدَقَ اللهُ: ﴿إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ﴾، رَأَيْتُ هَذَا فَلَمْ أَصْبِرْ»
It is narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ came out leaning on Al‑Hasan or Al‑Husayn, and the boy stumbled. The Prophet ﷺ descended from the pulpit and carried him, then ascended the pulpit with him and said: “Allah has spoken the truth, ‘Indeed, your wealth and your children are a trial’ (Quran 64:15). I saw this child and I could not be patient.”
(Narrated with similar wordings in Ahmad and others)
He wept when a child died, even though he fully knew the reward with Allah. When his son Ibrahim was dying, he cried. When questioned, he explained that the heart is allowed to feel and express sadness:
عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ … فَدَخَلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ وَإِبْرَاهِيمُ يَجُودُ بِنَفْسِهِ، فَجَعَلَتْ عَيْنَا رَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ تَذْرِفَانِ، فَقَالَ لَهُ عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ عَوْفٍ: وَأَنْتَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ؟ فَقَالَ:
«يَا ابْنَ عَوْفٍ، إِنَّهَا رَحْمَةٌ»
ثُمَّ قَالَ:
«إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلَا نَقُولُ إِلَّا مَا يُرْضِي رَبَّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ»
Anas رضي الله عنه narrated … The Messenger of Allah ﷺ entered while Ibrahim was breathing his last, and the eyes of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ began to shed tears. ‘Abdur Rahmān ibn ‘Awf said to him, “Even you, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “O Ibn ‘Awf, it is mercy.” Then he said, “Indeed the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we do not say except what pleases our Lord. Indeed, we are truly saddened by your departure, O Ibrahim.”
(Al‑Bukhari, Muslim)
In this way, he modeled for the community how to feel, show, and yet control emotion in a way that remains within the pleasure of Allah.
Summary of Prophetic Treatment of Children
In his treatment of children, the Prophet ﷺ combined all the qualities that Islam calls for in family life. He was loving in his affection, respectful in his speech, wise in his teaching, patient with their mistakes, fair in his judgment, protective of their bodies and souls, and deeply present in their joys and sorrows.
His example shows that children are not a distraction from religious life, but a trust from Allah that measures the truth of our faith and character.
Core Prophetic pattern with children:
- Show open mercy and affection.
- Honor their rights and dignity.
- Teach them gently and truthfully.
- Be patient with their mistakes.
- Be fair between them and avoid favoritism.
- Protect them physically and spiritually.
- Share their emotions while remaining pleased with Allah.
Following this prophetic model in our homes and communities is one of the most direct ways to bring the light of the Seerah into daily life, and to raise a generation whose hearts are connected with the mercy of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.