4.3.2 Wishes and regrets

Understanding Wishes and Regrets in Urdu

In this chapter you learn how Urdu expresses wishes and regrets, especially using the subjunctive and conditional patterns. We focus on common, natural sentences that you hear in everyday speech and in more careful or emotional language.

Expressing Simple Wishes with "کاش" and "اے کاش"

Urdu often uses کاش or اے کاش at the beginning of a sentence to express a wish or a regretful thought about something that is not real.

• کاش = "I wish" / "If only"
• اے کاش = same meaning, but more emotional or literary

These are typically followed by:

1. A subjunctive form, or
2. A perfect form with ہوتا / ہوتی / ہوتے for unreal past.

Wishes About the Present or Future

When you are wishing for something in the present or future, Urdu usually keeps the verb in a non-past form, often simple present or future, but the whole idea is "unreal" because of کاش.

Examples:

Notice that ہو / بولوں are formally present or future like forms, but because of کاش, the whole idea is unreal.

Emotional or Strong Wishes

Adding اے before کاش makes it more emotional.

• اے کاش میں تمہیں پہلے ملتا
  ai kāsh maĩ tumhẽ pehle miltā
  If only I had met you earlier.
• اے کاش یہ سچ نہ ہو
  ai kāsh yeh sach na ho
  If only this were not true.

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Unreal Past Wishes and Regrets with "کاش" + ہوتا / ہوتی / ہوتے

For regrets about the past that did not happen, Urdu commonly uses:

کاش + perfect participle (کیا، گیا، آیا etc.) + ہوتا / ہوتی / ہوتے

This structure is very important for talking about "I wish I had..." or "If only I had not..."

Form

1. Take the تم / وہ masculine singular perfect form of the main verb (without auxiliary):
• کیا, کہا, گیا, آیا, لکھا, پڑھا, خریدا, دیکھا, سمجھا, etc.
2. Add ہوتا (or ہوتی / ہوتے for gender and number).

Examples:

Note the gender and number:

• ہوتا for masculine singular subject understood:
  کاش میں گیا ہوتا
• ہوتی for feminine singular:
  کاش میں گئی ہوتی
  I wish I (female) had gone.
• ہوتے for plural:
  کاش ہم گئے ہوتے
  I wish we had gone.

Regrets with "کاش نہ ..." (I wish I had not...)

To express a regret about something you did, but wish you had not, you simply add نہ before the main verb.

Compare:

• کاش میں نے یہ کہا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ ne yeh kahā hotā
  I wish I had said this. (I did not say it.)
• کاش میں نے یہ نہ کہا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ ne yeh na kahā hotā
  I wish I had not said this. (I said it, and I regret it.)

More examples:

Using "اگر" with Regretful Conditions

Urdu also uses اگر for conditional thoughts that sound like regrets or "if only" sentences, often in combination with تو in the second clause.

When you look back at the past and think what would have happened, a very common pattern is:

اگر + [past perfect / perfect] + تو + [conditional result]

Examples:

These sentences often carry a feeling of regret, especially when spoken about oneself.

You can also use کاش with these conditional-style thoughts, sometimes dropping اگر or تو in informal speech:

• کاش میں محنت کرتا تو آج کہیں اور ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ mehnat kartā to āj kahī̃ aur hotā
  If only I had worked hard, I would be somewhere else today.

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"Should Have" and Missed Obligations: "کرنا چاہیے تھا"

A very common way to express regret about something you ought to have done is with چاہیے تھا.

Pattern:

[infinitive, usually with کرنا] + چاہیے تھا / چاہیے تھی / چاہیے تھے

Meaning: "should have".

Examples:

This is regretful but slightly moral or obligational in tone, like "I made a mistake."

You can combine کاش with چاہیے تھا for a stronger regret:

• کاش مجھے یہ پہلے سمجھ جانا چاہیے تھا
  kāsh mujhe yeh pehle samajh jānā chāhiye thā
  I wish I had understood this earlier / I really should have understood this earlier.

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Strong Emotional Regrets Using "نہ کرتا تو اچھا ہوتا"

Another common pattern for expressing that you regret doing something is:

[تم / میں perfect] + نہ کرتا / نہ کرتی / نہ کرتے تو اچھا ہوتا

or more broadly:

[main clause] + تو اچھا ہوتا

Meaning: "It would have been better if (I had not / you had not etc.)".

Examples:

You can also reverse the idea, about something you did not do, but wish you had:

• کاش میں تمہاری مدد کرتا تو اچھا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ tumhārī madad kartā to achchhā hotā
  I wish I had helped you, it would have been better.

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"کاش" vs Plain "اگر" for Wishes and Regrets

Although both can appear in sentences about unreal situations, they have different flavors.

• کاش usually expresses a direct wish or regret.
• اگر often introduces a condition, which can imply regret, but less directly.

Compare:

1. Direct regret / wish:
• کاش میں نے زیادہ پڑھا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ ne ziyāda paṛhā hotā
  I wish I had studied more.
2. Regretful condition:
• اگر میں نے زیادہ پڑھا ہوتا تو پاس ہو جاتا
  agar maĩ ne ziyāda paṛhā hotā to pās ho jātā
  If I had studied more, I would have passed.

The first focuses on feeling, the second on logic of what would have happened.

You can combine them:

• کاش اگر میں نے زیادہ پڑھا ہوتا تو پاس ہو جاتا
  kāsh agar maĩ ne ziyāda paṛhā hotā to pās ho jātā
  If only I had studied more, then I would have passed.

In careful style you often drop اگر and keep کاش for emotional weight, or vice versa.

Soft Wishes and Polite Desires Without "کاش"

Sometimes wishes are softer, not clearly regrets, and they can be expressed with verbs like چاہنا or structures like ہوتا without کاش.

Using "چاہنا" for wishes

• میں چاہتا ہوں کہ میں امریکہ جاؤں
  maĩ chāhtā hū̃ ke maĩ amrīkā jāū̃
  I wish / I want to go to America.
• میں چاہتی ہوں کہ میں اچھی اردو سیکھوں
  maĩ chāhtī hū̃ ke maĩ achchhī urdū sīkhū̃
  I wish / I want to learn good Urdu.

These are closer to hopes or strong desires than emotional regrets.

Using "ہوتا" wishfully

Sometimes, in spoken Urdu, people say:

• میں امیر ہوتا!
  maĩ amīr hotā!
  If only I were rich! / I wish I were rich!
• میں نوجوان ہوتا!
  maĩ naw-jawān hotā!
  I wish I were young!

The emotion of regret or wish is clear from the tone or context, even without کاش.

You can also combine them:

• کاش میں امیر ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ amīr hotā
  I wish I were rich.

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Degrees of Regret in Urdu Phrases

Different structures show different strengths of regret:

You can combine them for very strong emotional effect:

• کاش میں نے تمہاری بات مان لی ہوتی، تو اچھا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ ne tumhārī bāt mān lī hotī, to achchhā hotā
  I wish I had listened to you, it would have been better.
• کاش میں نے غصہ نہ کیا ہوتا، مجھے ایسا نہیں کرنا چاہیے تھا
  kāsh maĩ ne gussā na kiyā hotā, mujhe aisā nahī̃ karnā chāhiye thā
  I wish I had not gotten angry, I should not have done that.

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Typical Contexts for Wishes and Regrets

It is useful to see which structures are natural in which situations.

After an exam

• کاش میں نے آخری سوال بھی حل کیا ہوتا
  kāsh maĩ ne ākhirī sawāl bhī hal kiyā hotā
  I wish I had solved the last question too.
• مجھے پہلے سے تیاری کرنی چاہیے تھی
  mujhe pehle se taiyārī karnī chāhiye thī
  I should have prepared earlier.

After a quarrel

• کاش میں نے اتنی سخت بات نہ کہی ہوتی
  kāsh maĩ ne itnī sakht bāt na kahī hotī
  I wish I had not said such a harsh thing.
• مجھے غصہ نہیں کرنا چاہیے تھا
  mujhe gussā nahī̃ karnā chāhiye thā
  I should not have gotten angry.

Talking about missed opportunities

• کاش میں نے وہ نوکری قبول کر لی ہوتی
  kāsh maĩ ne woh naukrī qabūl kar lī hotī
  I wish I had accepted that job.
• اگر میں وہاں چلا جاتا تو آج میری زندگی الگ ہوتی
  agar maĩ vahā̃ chalā jātā to āj merī zindagī alag hotī
  If I had gone there, my life would be different today.

Romantic or nostalgic regret

• کاش ہم دوبارہ مل سکیں
  kāsh ham dobārah mil sakẽ
  I wish we could meet again.
• اے کاش ہم کبھی جدا نہ ہوتے
  ai kāsh ham kabhī judā na hote
  If only we had never separated.

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Practice Patterns and Substitution

You can practice by keeping the pattern but changing the words.

Pattern 1: "کاش میں نے … کیا ہوتا"

کاش میں نے ____ کیا ہوتا
I wish I had ____.

Fill in:

• سچ بولا
• زیادہ پڑھا
• کم کام کیا
• تمہاری بات سنی

Resulting sentences:

• کاش میں نے سچ بولا ہوتا
  I wish I had told the truth.
• کاش میں نے زیادہ پڑھا ہوتا
  I wish I had studied more.
• کاش میں نے کم کام کیا ہوتا
  I wish I had worked less.
• کاش میں نے تمہاری بات سنی ہوتی
  I wish I had listened to you.

Pattern 2: "مجھے … کرنا چاہیے تھا"

مجھے ____ کرنا چاہیے تھا
I should have ____.

Fill in:

• فون
• شکریہ ادا
• معافی
• آرام

Resulting sentences:

• مجھے فون کرنا چاہیے تھا
  I should have called.
• مجھے شکریہ ادا کرنا چاہیے تھا
  I should have said thank you.
• مجھے معافی مانگنی چاہیے تھی
  I should have apologized.
• مجھے آرام کرنا چاہیے تھا
  I should have rested.

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Vocabulary List

Below are key words and expressions related to wishes and regrets that appear in this chapter.

Use these patterns and vocabulary to create your own sentences about wishes and regrets in Urdu, and pay attention to how native speakers mix کاش, اگر, ہوتا, and چاہیے تھا to express different shades of emotion.