Polite vs Informal Speech

Overview

In Persian, the difference between polite and informal speech is central to everyday communication. Native speakers constantly shift between styles depending on age, status, social distance, and context. At B1 level you already know basic grammar and vocabulary. In this chapter you will focus on how the same sentence can sound friendly, neutral, or rude, depending on pronouns, verb forms, and word choices.

You will see many pairs of sentences, one informal and one polite, so you can feel how the tone changes. The goal is not only to recognize polite vs informal Persian, but also to choose the right style in real life.

T–V distinction: تو / شُما

The most important difference between polite and informal speech is the choice of pronoun for “you”.

Informal “you” is تو (to).
Polite or plural “you” is شما (shomâ).

Using تو is natural with family, close friends, children, and people your own age in informal settings. Using شما shows respect or distance, for example with teachers, older people, strangers, or in formal situations like shops and offices.

Compare:

تو کجایی؟
(to kojâyi?)
Where are you? (informal, to one person)

شما کجا هستید؟
(shomâ kojâ hastid?)
Where are you? (polite, to one person or plural)

The verb agrees with the pronoun, so when you change تو to شما, you also change the verb ending. You studied present and past conjugations earlier, so here we focus on the tonal effect, not the full conjugation tables.

Informal vs polite verb endings

Because pronouns and verb endings go together, verbs are a very clear signal of politeness.

Informal singular uses the second person singular ending, often written with ـی (-i) in present and past.
Polite uses second person plural endings, often with ـید (-id) in present and past.

Look at the same question in three styles.

Very informal, casual:
کجا می‌ری؟
(kojâ mi-ri?)
Where are you going?

Neutral informal:
کجا می‌روی؟
(kojâ miravi?)
Where are you going?

Polite:
کجا می‌روید؟
(kojâ miravid?)
Where are you going?

Sometimes speakers drop the subject pronoun and only the verb ending shows the level of politeness.

می‌ری؟
(miri?)
Are you going? (informal)

می‌روید؟
(miravid?)
Are you going? (polite)

In real life you will hear many short informal forms, like می‌ری؟, میای؟ “Are you coming?”, می‌خوری؟ “Will you eat?”, especially among friends.

The verb “to be” in polite vs informal tone

You already know that informal “to be” in the present often appears as short endings, for example من خوبَم (man khubam), تو خوبی (to khubi). In polite speech, especially with شما, speakers prefer the full form هستید or هستید + pronoun.

Informal:
تو خسته‌ای.
(to khaste-i.)
You are tired.

Polite:
شما خسته‌اید.
(shomâ khaste-id.)
You are tired. (respectful)

In spoken Persian, a common polite form is with the clitic ـین (-in), especially after proper names or titles.

آقای موسوی، خسته‌این؟
(âghâ-ye mousavi, khaste-in?)
Mr Mousavi, are you tired?

Compare how the same idea changes level:

Informal:
خوبی؟
(khubi?)
Are you fine?

Polite:
خوب هستید؟
(khub hastid?)
Are you fine?

Extra polite or emphatic:
حال‌ِتون خوبه؟
(hâl-etun khube?)
Is your health / are you doing well?

Here ـتون (-etun) is a polite “your”, which you will see more in the next section.

Polite and informal possession

Possessive endings also show respect. The informal pattern for “your” is usually ـت (-et) after consonants and ـت (-t) after vowels, while the polite pattern for “your” is ـتون (-etun).

Informal:
کتابِت کجاست؟
(ketâb-et kojâst?)
Where is your book?

Polite:
کتاب‌ِتون کجاست؟
(ketâb-etun kojâst?)
Where is your book?

You can combine this with شما, or you can just use the ending to show politeness.

شما کتاب‌ِتون رو آوردید؟
(shomâ ketâb-etun ro âvordid?)
Did you bring your book?

Addressing a friend:

مامانت خونه‌ست؟
(mâmân-et khune-st?)
Is your mom home?

Addressing a classmate’s parent politely:

مامان‌ِتون خونه‌ست؟
(mâmân-etun khune-st?)
Is your mother home?

Moving from ـت to ـتون softens your tone and shows more respect.

Titles and address forms

Another big difference between polite and informal speech is how you address people. Persians pay attention to titles.

Common polite titles:

آقا
(âghâ)
Mr, sir

خانم
(khânom)
Ms, Mrs, madam

جناب آقا / جناب خانم
(janâb-e âghâ / janâb-e khânom)
Very formal “sir / madam”

استاد
(ostâd)
Teacher, master, professor

دکتر
(doktor)
Doctor

مهندس
(mohandes)
Engineer (often used as a polite title for some professionals)

With first names, آقا and خانم are common and polite.

آقای علی
(âghâ-ye ali)
Mr Ali

خانم مریم
(khânom maryam)
Ms Maryam

Using only someone’s first name is usually informal and friendly, especially among young people and close colleagues. Using a title plus family name is more formal.

آقای موسوی
(âghâ-ye mousavi)
Mr Mousavi

خانم رضایی
(khânom rezâyi)
Ms Rezaei

Informal address among friends and family often uses bare names or nicknames, or words like داداش (dâdâsh, bro), رفیق (refigh, buddy), عزیزم (azizam, my dear), which you already know as vocabulary, but as soon as you add آقا or خانم, the tone becomes more polite.

Compare:

مریم، میای؟
(maryam, mi-yâyi?)
Maryam, are you coming? (informal, friendly)

خانم مریم، می‌آیید؟
(khânom maryam, mi-âyid?)
Ms Maryam, are you coming? (polite, respectful)

Polite vs informal requests

Persian has a wide range of request forms, from very soft and polite to very direct. Much of the difference comes from verb forms, choice of words, and adding or removing softening elements like لطفاً (lotfan, please).

Informal direct request, to a friend:
در رو ببند.
(dar ro bebband.)
Close the door.

More polite:
لطفاً در رو ببندید.
(lotfan dar ro bebandid.)
Please close the door.

Very polite and soft:
ممکنه لطفاً در رو ببندید؟
(momkene lotfan dar ro bebandid?)
Could you please close the door?

Notice the tools of politeness here: لطفاً, the verb ending -ید, and modal expressions like ممکنه “is it possible” or می‌شه “is it possible / can”.

Compare these pairs:

Informal:
می‌تونی کمکم کنی؟
(mituni komakam koni?)
Can you help me?

Polite:
می‌تونید کمکم کنید؟
(mitunid komakam konid?)
Can you help me? (polite)

Extra polite:
ممکنه یه لحظه کمکم کنید؟
(momkene ye lahze komakam konid?)
Could you help me for a moment?

Informal:
یه لیوان آب می‌دی؟
(ye livân âb midi?)
Give me a glass of water?

Polite:
می‌شه یه لیوان آب بدید؟
(mishe ye livân âb bedid?)
Could you give me a glass of water?

Even when you keep the meaning the same, using plural verb endings and softer expressions like می‌شه, ممکنه, لطفاً instantly raises the politeness level.

Saying “please” and “thank you”

In Persian, “please” is often لطفاً (lotfan). In very formal writing you might see خواهش می‌کنم at the start of a polite request, but in speech خواهش می‌کنم is more common as “you are welcome”.

Informal:
یه لحظه صبر کن.
(ye lahze sabr kon.)
Wait a second.

Polite:
لطفاً یه لحظه صبر کنید.
(lotfan ye lahze sabr konid.)
Please wait a second.

Very polite:
خواهش می‌کنم یه لحظه صبر کنید.
(khâhesh mikonam ye lahze sabr konid.)
I request that you wait a moment, please.

Thanking is also used to balance politeness. You already know:

مرسی
(mersi)
Thanks. (informal, borrowed from French/English)

ممنون
(mamnun)
Thank you. (neutral, common)

خیلی ممنون
(kheyli mamnun)
Thank you very much. (polite)

متشکرم
(moteshakkeram)
Thank you. (more formal)

Responses to thanks often sound very polite, even between friends.

خواهش می‌کنم.
(khâhesh mikonam.)
You are welcome / Please.

قابلی نداشت.
(ghâbeli nadâsht.)
It was nothing. (polite, modest)

To keep your tone polite, combine neutral or formal thank you forms with polite pronouns and verbs.

Informal vs polite imperatives and suggestions

Imperatives (commands) are by nature direct, so you often need to soften them in polite speech. In informal speech among equals, bare imperatives are very common.

Informal commands:
بیا.
(biâ.)
Come.

بشین.
(beshin.)
Sit.

بخور.
(bokhor.)
Eat.

Polite versions usually follow one or more of these strategies:

1. Use plural verb ending -ید
2. Add لطفاً
3. Turn the command into a question with می‌شه or می‌تونید

Polite:
بفرمایید بشینید.
(befarmâyid beshinid.)
Please, sit down.

بفرمایید داخل.
(befarmâyid dâkhel.)
Please come in.

لطفاً بفرمایید.
(lotfan befarmâyid.)
Please go ahead.

Note بفرما / بفرمایید.
بفرما (befarmâ) is informal.
بفرمایید (befarmâyid) is polite.
Both literally mean “please go ahead / here you are,” and are extremely common when offering food, a seat, or an object.

Compare:

بفرما چای.
(befarmâ châi.)
Here, have some tea. (informal)

بفرمایید چای.
(befarmâyid châi.)
Please have some tea. (polite)

Suggestions can also show the same pattern.

Informal:
بیا بریم سینما.
(biâ berim sinemâ.)
Let’s go to the cinema.

Polite:
بیا بریم سینما.
(biâ berim sinemâ.)
Let’s go to the cinema. (still usually informal or friendly)

More polite suggestion to someone you call شما:
می‌آیید بریم سینما؟
(mi-âyid berim sinemâ?)
Would you like to go to the cinema?

Politeness in greetings and small talk

Greetings are one of the strongest areas where the contrast between polite and informal Persian appears clearly.

Very informal:
سلام.
(salâm.)
Hi.

سلام، خوبی؟
(salâm, khubi?)
Hi, are you OK?

Informal follow-up:
چطوری؟
(chetori?)
How are you?

Polite greeting:
سلام، حال‌ِ شما چطوره؟
(salâm, hâl-e shomâ chetore?)
Hello, how are you?

More formal or respectful:
سلام علیکم.
(salâm ‘aleykom.)
Peace be upon you. (formal greeting)

سلام، حال‌ِتون خوبه؟
(salâm, hâl-etun khube?)
Hello, is your health good? (polite)

Again, the shift from تو / ـت to شما / ـتون marks politeness, and polite phrases often become longer and more elaborate.

Saying goodbye also shows stylistic differences.

Informal:
خدافظ.
(khodâfez.)
Bye.

تا بعد.
(tâ ba’d.)
See you later.

Polite:
خداحافظ شما.
(khodâhâfez-e shomâ.)
Goodbye. (polite)

خدا نگهدار.
(khodâ negahdâr.)
Goodbye, may God protect you. (polite)

Turning small talk polite is often just a matter of adding titles, polite you, and some formulas of good wishes.

Informal:
کجا می‌ری؟
(kojâ miri?)
Where are you going?

Polite:
کجا می‌روید آقا؟
(kojâ miravid âghâ?)
Where are you going, sir?

Polite formulas in service situations

In shops, offices, taxis, restaurants, and other service contexts, both customers and staff usually use polite language. Here are some patterns you will hear very often.

Staff to customer, polite:
بفرمایید.
(befarmâyid.)
Go ahead. / Here you are. / Yes, please?

چی می‌خواین؟
(chi mikhâyn?)
What would you like? (polite, spoken shortening of می‌خواهید)

Formal:
چه کمکی از دستم برمی‌آد؟
(che komaki az dastam bar mi-âd?)
How can I help you?

Customer, polite:
ببخشید.
(bebakhshid.)
Excuse me. / Sorry.

یه سؤال داشتم.
(ye so’âl dâshtam.)
I had a question.

می‌شه قیمتش رو بگید؟
(mishe gheymat-esh ro begid?)
Could you tell me the price?

Slowly:
می‌شود قیمتش را بگویید؟
(mishavad gheymat-ash râ beguyid?)
Could you tell me the price? (very formal)

Customer, slightly informal but still polite:
آقا، این چندِ؟
(âghâ, in chande?)
Sir, how much is this?

Note that even when other parts of the sentence are colloquial, using آقا / خانم and plural verb endings keeps the overall tone respectful.

Switching styles: who, when, and why

In real conversation, speakers often switch between polite and informal speech, even within one talk. Some common patterns:

With strangers or older people, start with polite speech (شما, -ید verbs, لطفاً). If they start to use تو with you or ask you to drop formality, you may shift to informal.

Among friends or colleagues of similar age, informal is normal. If you suddenly switch to very polite forms, it may sound distant or ironic.

Parents usually talk to children with تو and informal verbs. Children talk to parents in many families with شما and polite verbs, although in some modern families children also say تو to parents. You can safely use شما with parents of friends, teachers, and elders.

In professional settings, like offices, doctors, and officials, default to شما and polite forms, even if the other person is young.

Remember that politeness in Persian is not only grammar. Tone of voice, facial expressions, and culture-specific gestures are also very important, but at B1 level focusing on pronouns, verb endings, and polite phrases will already make your speech much more natural.

Recognizing impoliteness and over-politeness

Sometimes speakers use informal language in situations where polite would be expected. This can sound too direct, bossy, or disrespectful, especially with imperatives.

Example that may sound rude to a stranger:
اسمت چیه؟
(esmet chie?)
What is your name?

Polite alternative:
اسم‌تون چیه؟
(esmetun chie?)
What is your name?

Or more formal:
اسم شما چیه؟
(esme shomâ chie?)
What is your name?

On the other side, overusing very formal phrases with close friends or in relaxed contexts can sound comical or sarcastic.

Using very formal:
متشکرم، خواهش می‌کنم، بفرمایید بنشینید
(moteshakkeram, khâhesh mikonam, befarmâyid beneshinid)
among teenagers at a picnic would sound exaggerated and funny.

So you need not only to know polite forms, but also to feel when they are appropriate.

Vocabulary table

Below is a list of important vocabulary and expressions used in this chapter.