Table of Contents
Introduction
The marriage of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to Khadijah bint Khuwaylid رضي الله عنها is one of the most blessed and important relationships in his life. It came before prophethood, in a society with its own customs and values, yet this marriage stood out for its purity, mutual respect, and deep support. It shaped his early adulthood and provided a stable, dignified home from which the light of prophethood later spread.
In this chapter we will look at how this marriage came about, what their family life was like, their children, and the unique role that Khadijah رضي الله عنها played in the life and mission of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. We will not repeat general points about his youth or later stages of prophethood, but focus on what is specific to this blessed marriage.
Khadijah رضي الله عنها before Marriage
Before she married the Prophet ﷺ, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid was a noble woman of Quraysh from the tribe of Asad, related to the Prophet ﷺ through their common ancestor Qusayy. She was known in Makkah for her honor, intelligence, and success in trade. People called her “al-Tahira,” the Pure One, because of her chastity and good character in a society filled with many immoral practices.
Khadijah had been married before and was a widow when she met Muhammad ﷺ. Through inheritance and business ability she possessed considerable wealth. She did not travel herself with the caravans, but financed trading journeys, sending men to trade her goods in Syria and other regions, and shared profits with them. This made her respected, but it also meant she needed people she could absolutely trust in a society where cheating in business was common.
Her dignity can be seen in how people in Quraysh viewed her. Even in non-Muslim historical reports, she is remembered as a woman of status and respect. Later, after Islam, the Prophet ﷺ would say about her:
«خَيْرُ نِسَائِهَا مَرْيَمُ بِنْتُ عِمْرَانَ، وَخَيْرُ نِسَائِهَا خَدِيجَةُ بِنْتُ خُوَيْلِدٍ»
“The best of its women is Maryam bint ‘Imran, and the best of its women is Khadijah bint Khuwaylid.”
(Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
This statement shows her rank among all women, not only within Quraysh.
The Trade Partnership that Led to Marriage
Muhammad ﷺ in his youth was known among his people as al-Amīn, the Trustworthy, and al-Sādiq, the Truthful. His reputation traveled across Makkah. When Khadijah رضي الله عنها heard about his honesty, reliability, and good character, she decided to employ him to manage her business caravan to Syria.
She sent him with her servant or assistant, Maysarah, to oversee a trading journey with her wealth. This involved taking goods from Makkah to the markets of Sham (greater Syria), selling them for profit, and buying new goods to bring back. It was a serious responsibility in a harsh environment of long travel, banditry, and cut-throat merchants.
On this journey, Muhammad ﷺ dealt with traders with fairness and truthfulness. He did not lie about goods, did not deceive buyers, and did not misuse the trust placed in him. The result was that the caravan returned with more profit than Khadijah had ever seen from a similar expedition. This was not only due to his skill, but also his barakah and integrity.
Maysarah also observed remarkable things about him. Some reports mention shade being provided to him and how a monk in Busra noticed signs of prophethood, but the main point relevant here is that Maysarah saw his character up close and was deeply impressed by his honesty, gentleness, and noble manners. When they returned to Makkah, he informed Khadijah of what he had seen of Muhammad’s ﷺ integrity, truthfulness, and his special qualities.
Khadijah was moved both by the profits he brought and, much more, by the testimony of his character. This set the stage for a marriage proposal that would be unlike typical alliances of the time, which often focused mainly on wealth, status, or tribal strength.
The Proposal and Acceptance
Khadijah رضي الله عنها was at this time a woman of around forty years, while the Prophet ﷺ was about twenty five. She was sought in marriage by many noble men of Quraysh, but she had declined them. After hearing about Muhammad’s ﷺ character from Maysarah and from her own dealings with him, she began to feel a deep respect and admiration for him.
Different narrations describe how the proposal began. A common report is that Khadijah confided in a close friend, Nafīsah bint Munabbih (or bint Umayyah), about her desire to marry Muhammad ﷺ. Nafīsah then went to him and, in a respectful and indirect way, inquired whether he would consider marriage. When he replied in the affirmative, she asked what he would think of marrying a woman of wealth, honor, and good character. He asked who that was, and she mentioned Khadijah. He ﷺ showed his willingness.
After this, the Prophet ﷺ informed his uncles about the matter. His uncle Abu Talib, or according to some narrations Hamzah, went with him to the house of Khadijah to formally ask for her hand in marriage. This followed the Arab custom of guardians and family involvement.
Abu Talib delivered a speech that mentioned the noble lineage and character of Muhammad ﷺ, even though he did not have much wealth. He said something to the effect: “If he has little wealth, wealth is a passing shadow. He has a lineage second to none and character that is praised.” Khadijah’s guardian accepted, and Khadijah herself was pleased.
The mahr, or bridal gift, was agreed upon. Reports differ on its exact amount, but it was a reasonable, honorable dowry, not excessive, reflecting dignity but not extravagance.
Marriage in Islam is a contract built on mutual consent, respect, and responsibility. Wealth, while useful, is not the main measure of worth. The most important qualities are faith and character.
Although prophethood had not yet begun, Allah was already preparing for his Messenger ﷺ a spouse who would be a pillar of support. Their marriage took place in Makkah in a simple, dignified manner, without arrogance or sinful practices, and it became the beginning of a household built on chastity, loyalty, and mutual support.
Their Age Difference and Its Wisdom
One of the distinctive features of this marriage is the age difference. The widely accepted view among scholars is that the Prophet ﷺ was about twenty five years old, and Khadijah رضي الله عنها was about forty. Some historical reports give a slightly lower age for Khadijah, but the famous and most common narration is that she was older by about fifteen years.
In pre-Islamic Arabia, it was not unheard of for a younger man to marry an older, widowed woman, especially when she had wealth and status. However, what makes this marriage unique is that it was not primarily a material arrangement. Muhammad ﷺ accepted this marriage despite being in the prime of youth, when a man’s desires are strong and when in his society marrying virgins or younger women was the usual custom.
This has important lessons. First, it shows that he was not driven by uncontrolled desire. If he had wanted to choose purely on physical appearance or youth, he would not have chosen a forty year old widow as his first wife. Second, it shows that he valued character, piety, and companionship more than superficial factors. Third, it refutes the claim that his later multiple marriages were due to lust. For about twenty five years of his adulthood, he remained married to only one woman, Khadijah رضي الله عنها, and she was older than him.
Allah says in the Quran that spouses are created for tranquility and love:
﴿وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً﴾
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves spouses that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
(Quran 30:21)
This verse, revealed later in Madinah, perfectly describes the relationship between the Prophet ﷺ and Khadijah رضي الله عنها. Their age difference did not prevent tranquility, affection, or mercy. In fact, her maturity, life experience, and calm nature were key in providing him with stability and emotional security.
A Household of Love and Respect
After their marriage, Muhammad ﷺ moved into a settled domestic life marked by loyalty, modesty, and mutual affection. He did not take any other wife during the lifetime of Khadijah. This exclusive and faithful bond lasted roughly a quarter of a century, from his mid twenties to around the age of fifty when Khadijah passed away.
In this period, he ﷺ worked, provided, and lived as a husband and father. He upheld family ties, honored his in-laws, and maintained a dignified home. The future Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not live a life of luxury. Makkah was a trading city, but his household was simple. Food, clothing, and housing were enough but not extravagant. This moderation became a pattern even later when he had greater access to wealth.
Their daily life, before revelation, was outwardly like that of other noble Makkan families. However, inwardly, the house was filled with honesty, trust, and a deep sense of responsibility. There were no idols in their home, and Muhammad ﷺ did not engage in the pagan practices that surrounded them. Later, when revelation began, this home became the first base of Islam.
Khadijah رضي الله عنها is remembered for her service to him, her care, and her clear understanding of his moral greatness, even before he became a prophet. When the Quran later described believing husbands and wives as “protective friends” of one another, it applied very strongly to them:
﴿وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ﴾
“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another.”
(Quran 9:71)
Their loyalty was so deep that after her death, the Prophet ﷺ continued to remember her fondly. He would send gifts to her friends, speak well of her, and mention her virtues often. ‘Aishah رضي الله عنها, later in his life, said:
«مَا غِرْتُ عَلَى أَحَدٍ مِنْ نِسَاءِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ مَا غِرْتُ عَلَى خَدِيجَةَ…»
“I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ as I felt jealous of Khadijah…”
(Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
This shows how often he praised her and remembered her even many years after her passing.
Children of the Prophet ﷺ from Khadijah
All of the Prophet’s ﷺ children, except one, were born from Khadijah رضي الله عنها. Their home became a blessed place that witnessed the birth and upbringing of his sons and daughters before prophethood and in its early years.
The children commonly mentioned are:
- Al-Qasim. He was the first son, and the Prophet ﷺ was given his kunya “Abu al-Qasim” after him. Al-Qasim died in childhood in Makkah.
- Zaynab. She was the eldest daughter, who later married Abul ‘As ibn al-Rabi’. She embraced Islam and migrated to Madinah after facing trials.
- Ruqayyah. She married ‘Uthman ibn ‘Affan رضي الله عنه and migrated with him to Abyssinia and then to Madinah. She fell ill around the time of the Battle of Badr and passed away.
- Umm Kulthum. After the death of Ruqayyah, she married ‘Uthman رضي الله عنه as well. For this reason, he is known as “Dhu al-Nurayn”, the possessor of two lights.
- Fatimah. The youngest daughter, she later married ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه and is one of the greatest women of Islam. She lived with him in poverty and devotion and is the mother of al-Hasan and al-Husayn.
- ‘Abdullah. He is also called al-Tayyib and al-Tahir in some narrations, possibly as nicknames. Like al-Qasim, he died in childhood in Makkah.
Later, in Madinah, after Khadijah’s death, the Prophet ﷺ had one more son, Ibrahim, from Maria al-Qibtiyyah. Ibrahim also died in infancy. Thus, none of the Prophet’s ﷺ sons lived to adulthood. All of his surviving lineage came through his daughter Fatimah رضي الله عنها.
This series of losses, especially the deaths of sons in a culture that prized male heirs, was a test for him. His opponents in Makkah mocked him, saying he was “abtar” cut off. Allah then revealed:
﴿إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ الْأَبْتَرُ﴾
“Indeed, your enemy is the one cut off.”
(Quran 108:3)
This came later, after revelation, but the roots of these trials were within this early family life with Khadijah. Their shared grief over lost children and their patience in the face of such pain created an even deeper bond between them.
The Prophet ﷺ experienced the loss of multiple children while still in Makkah. His patience and trust in Allah in these personal trials became an example for all believers who face family loss and sorrow.
Their daughters saw in their parents examples of kindness, modesty, and resilience. They later became early Muslims, standing by him during persecution. This connection between his private family life and his public mission began in the home that he shared with Khadijah رضي الله عنها.
The Role of Khadijah رضي الله عنها in His Life and Mission
Khadijah’s role was far more than that of a wife in the ordinary sense. Allah chose her to be the first and closest supporter of His final Messenger ﷺ. When the first revelation came and the Prophet ﷺ returned home trembling, fearful after his encounter with Jibril عليه السلام in the cave of Hira, it was Khadijah who comforted him and affirmed him.
The famous narration in al-Bukhari describes what she said when he told her what had happened and expressed his fear for himself. She replied with words full of insight into his character:
«كَلَّا، وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ»
“No, by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You maintain family ties, you bear the burdens of the weak, you give to those who have nothing, you honor the guest, and you assist in every matter of truth.”
(Al-Bukhari)
She looked at his life and deeds and concluded that someone like him would never be abandoned or humiliated by Allah. These words did not only calm him, they also show her deep understanding and clear faith. She declared that the moral goodness rooted in his life must be honored by Allah.
It was also Khadijah who took him to her cousin Waraqah ibn Nawfal, a Christian learned in the previous scriptures. This step led to Waraqah testifying that what had come to him was the same angel who came to Musa عليه السلام and that he would be a prophet for his people. Khadijah thus became a link between his first experience of revelation and the confirmation that it was indeed from Allah.
Khadijah رضي الله عنها was also the first person to believe in him as the Messenger of Allah. She did not ask for signs or miracles. Her knowledge of his character was enough. That is why the scholars often say she was the first person to accept Islam. The Prophet ﷺ later remembered this and said:
«آمَنَتْ بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ، وَصَدَّقَتْنِي إِذْ كَذَّبَنِي النَّاسُ، وَوَاسَتْنِي بِمَالِهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي النَّاسُ»
“She believed in me when the people disbelieved in me. She considered me truthful when the people rejected me. She shared her wealth with me when the people deprived me.”
(Reported in Ahmad and others, authentic in meaning)
Her support was of three kinds. First, emotional support. She gave him comfort when he was distressed and helped him carry the heavy burden of revelation. Second, intellectual and moral support. She affirmed that his message was true, removed doubts, and saw the wisdom in his mission. Third, material support. She used her wealth to protect him and to assist the small, persecuted community of early Muslims in Makkah.
During the boycott against Banu Hashim and Banu al-Muttalib, Khadijah stood with the Prophet ﷺ and his clan in the valley of Abu Talib, enduring hunger, hardship, and isolation. She did so at an advanced age, with no complaint, driven by love for Allah and His Messenger. The strain of those years took a heavy toll on her health and contributed to her death in what became known as the Year of Sorrow.
The Prophet ﷺ never forgot her sacrifices. Years later, when some meat was slaughtered in his house, he would ask, “Has it reached the friends of Khadijah?” He would mention her virtues so frequently that ‘Aishah رضي الله عنها said:
«كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِذَا ذَكَرَ خَدِيجَةَ أَثْنَى عَلَيْهَا فَأَحْسَنَ الثَّنَاءَ…»
“Whenever the Messenger of Allah ﷺ mentioned Khadijah, he would praise her and speak highly of her…”
(Al-Bukhari)
Among her honors is that Jibril عليه السلام brought her greetings from Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said to her:
«يَا خَدِيجَةُ، هَذَا جِبْرِيلُ يُقْرِئُكِ السَّلَامَ مِنْ رَبِّكِ…»
“O Khadijah, this is Jibril conveying to you greetings of peace from your Lord…”
(Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
This shows that her support and sacrifice were so beloved to Allah that she received His direct salām through the angel.
Khadijah رضي الله عنها was the first believer, the first supporter, and the closest companion of the Prophet ﷺ in the earliest and hardest days of Islam. Her faith, sacrifice, and loyalty are a central part of the Seerah and a model for all believers, men and women.
Her life with him illustrates that a righteous spouse can be a means for Allah’s help, strength, and mercy in times of trial. The house that Khadijah built with Muhammad ﷺ was the first home of Islam and the place where the earliest verses of the Quran were recited and lived.
Conclusion
The marriage of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to Khadijah رضي الله عنها was a turning point in his early life. It gave him a partner who believed in his integrity even before revelation, and who believed in his message from the moment it came. Together they formed a family marked by sincerity, modest means, deep affection, and constant support.
From this marriage came his children who would go on to face the trials of Makkah and Madinah. From this home came the first believer and the first financier and protector of the da‘wah. The Prophet ﷺ never took another wife while Khadijah was alive, and he remembered her lovingly until his final days.
Understanding this marriage helps us see how Allah prepared His Messenger ﷺ. He was not left alone to face his mission, but was given in Khadijah رضي الله عنها a companion whose love, wisdom, and sacrifice became an essential part of the story of Islam.